Friday Five

Five Things I am Thankful for this Friday

1. I love it when I don't have to wait for the walk sign to light up. As in, I think I'm going to have to wait AND THEN right as my feet are about to bring the rest of me to a halt, the light changes in pace with my walk and my feet just rev right back up again.

2. My Mama. I love her. I miss her. Yesterday she told me she just got a really good feeling about me. I believe in really good feelings. Also really bad ones. But I'm glad this one was a good one. She is President of the Emily Fan Club.

3. Leftover Halloween Candy. I am only 1/2 thankful for this really. Right now I am happy to have it. But someone should probably take it away from me. Soon. Also it reminds me of being a kid and eating all the good candy first and then all the tootsie rolls are left at the end. Also I used to steal my brother's candy sometimes and replace it with my crappy candy. Confession.


4. The knowledge that tomorrow morning I don't have to be anyyyyyywhere! Sleep, Sleep, I love you best mid-morninggggg time.

5. Old friends. Thanks for reminding me of who I was and who I'm going to be. And for telling me I'm pretty.



k bye.

I like what I like

When it comes to things like food, I find it's better to stick with what you know. For example, from the time I could order my own food until about two years ago, I got chicken fingers at pretty much every restaurant I went to. I like it. Chicken fingers are pretty much the same everywhere. I know I won't order them and be disappointed. Sometimes the sauces that these establishments boast of are very disappointing, but that's really another story. Now I'm a vegetarian and I get a veggie (btw, I hate the word "veggie") burger everywhere I go. Also another story.

Same theory pretty much applies to shoes. I like what I like. Which is mainly sandals, because otherwise my feet feel claustrophobic. If I can't wiggle my toes around, I get a little crazy. I may not let on, but on the inside I'm like AHHHHHHHHH THIS IS MAKING ME FEEL SO TRAPPPPPPED. No one really knows this, because I just have a lot of self-control. So far. I don't particularly like heels, except to try on for a few minutes and strut around in (with a crown on, duh). I can also tolerate heels if I'm going to an event that is primarily sitting down. Otherwise, no thank you. I also never learned to dance (well, dance how I like to dance) wearing heels, so I think that's a pretty big restriction to put on yourself. Who knows when you need to dance? Or wiggle your toes?

But now that I live in a not Florida place, my footwear is changing. Not so much by choice...but when the weather changes, so do your shoes. I recently purchased my second pair of boots EVER (not including rainboots) and I really like them so far! I can wiggle in them. And they are comfortable. Also, California does what I like to call the leggings and anything combo, and boots happen to complement that rather well.

You likesies? I likesies. I get lots of compliments on them and 1.) They’re not real leather, which I am actually trying to avoid as  I don’t like the idea of wearing skin that belonged elsewhere once, and 2.) As a result, they were very cheap!

Cool. So now I have some bootskies, which is really fun and new for me. I feel like I’m gonna go prance off like a little english riding horse when I wear them. (Weird I feel like the horse, and not the actual person riding the horse, which I think is the style these boots are trying to imitate. Whatever. You can’t question impulse. At least they’re not made from horse skin.)

So ANYWAY, now that I am satisfied with my boots that don’t make me want to rip off my footwear, I focused on finding some flats I L-O-V-E. Because in my opinion, you have to L-O-V-E your shoes! They’re like an extension of your body. Love yourself, Love your shoes. But the thing is, I already have flats I love. I love them. I lovelove them. They are the most comfortable things I have ever worn. And they make me feel like a ballerina to the extent that I actually practice ballet in them. Or rather, what I think ballet is, which may or may not be close to the real thing. They are also filthy. Because I loved them so much. You know how when you’re a little kid, your mom won’t buy you white sneakers because you’ll get them dirty the first ten minutes of recess? And all kid shoes eventually end up filthy because apparently they spend all free time in dirt? And then you grow up a little, and your shoes don’t get so dirty anymore, so you buy white sneakers because now you run inside a gym where dirt is sought out and eliminated because it causes things like MRSA. We all know what I’m talking about. Except these ballet flats look like I spend a lot of time on playgrounds. But they were only like $15 so I really don’t mind buying new ones. And then I can wear my other ones on the playground for REAL, perhaps.

ONLY PROBLEM IS, THEY NO LONGER SELL THEM.

I.am.devastated. To the point that I actually wrote Target a letter, begging whatever customer service representative receives it to pleeeeeeeeeeease restock them. I really hope they listen. Funny thing is, I remember when I bought them I was like,

FIFTEEN DOLLARS? For these shoes I already love so much and I am just in the store? I WILL GLADLY PAY THAT. And then this little voice inside me said, Emily, maybe you should get another pair. Maybe….you should get….five other pairs.

But I ignored it.

Moral of the story: When you like what you like, you should definitely buy in bulk.

Oh, also, here is a picture of my beloved flats. THEY LOOK PRETTIER IN PERSON. (Well, mine don’t now. Because of the filth. But they did once. Also, I really like parentheses this post, eh?)

...Li...brary

I love the way books smell. Old books and new books. I am not sure how I feel about middle-aged books. Also not sure if a book can ever be middle aged. I think they just go from new to old. I was thinking this today in the library. Maybe if I never decide what I want to be I will be a librarian. A children's librarian. Who wears a funny hat during story time. And does all the voices. I think I'll probably bake cupcakes too. Oh, my alternate life as a children's librarian. The things I coulda been.

When I get a call about an audition it is SO REFRESHING. I literally feel like screaming out the window, "OH MY GOD, SOMEONE WANTS ME!! It's a BEAUTIFUL WORLD." It's amazing how quickly my mood can change when I get good news. Also works the opposite way. The lows are low, but oh, the highs are extraordinary

I feel really lame when I use the word extraordinary in earnest for some reason.

This post apparently has a theme as I feel the need to write about the library again. I was walking through it today and looking at all the new books, fiction and non, and then all the dvds, and the cds and the books on cd, and the children's books, and the newspapers in all these different languages and I felt so incredibly overwhelmed and fascinated all at once. Perhaps I was overwhelmed with fascination? Nope, they were two distinct feelings. But I know I can never know everything! I don't have time! Or patience! Also I forget some percentage of things I read...not sure exactly what it is, but it's surely significant. It made me wish future me could follow me around, maybe floating behind me saying things like, "Don't even bother with that one!" and "You won't regret it!" and "This one is MAGICAL!" But I just have to rely on book jackets...and reviews...and recommendations. I guess I will have to be okay with that.

Anyway, it reminded me of this quote in Anne of Green Gables, which is something I read that I will NEVER forget because I read them all about 20 times each. No exaggeration there. Here it is.

"Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we know all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?"
- Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

I was just thinking…

Sooooo it’s been a while since I updated…OOOPSIES! I will try not to let so much time pass again. I actually wrote a few and then never posted them. OOPSIES! again. I actually am not very sorry, only I like to look back on my blogging exploits years after. I had an “open diary” when I was like 14, but that website got hacked and everyone’s stuff was deleted, apparently? WHICH IS TOO BAD. I actually had a xanga, and a missingapiece as well…I’m trying to find them all so I can pick out some choice quotes to post here so my younger self can remind my present self of how wise I once was. But it’s difficult, because I’m having trouble remembering my usernames/passwords. Younger me probably didn’t think older me would forget! Because my password hints are always these weird little clues that I know at the time I must have thought duh! of course I’ll remember this inside joke I had with…myself. but I do not.

Okay so I went back to try and find them and it was a little impossible. I did, however, remember one. Also some of the others were deleted. I did find some interesting old emails, though. Anyway, reading over the old entries I realized I’ve lost a sense of hyper activeness that I once had. In comparison, I’m pretty calm now. OMG WTF MATE DID I GROW UP? It’s also a bunch of entries from when I was choosing colleges and thinking about leaving things behind and whatnot so I am certainly reflective in that depressing way that only a 17 year old can be.

“I haven't been aware of it, but slowly my life has been falling into my own hands, bit by bit.  I'm not altogether sure I'm comfortable.”

“It's so difficult to make and renew and keep connections as you age.  So far that's what I've learned.”

I still want to be a princess, I still love chocolate and cheese and sparkly pretty things, and I’m still not exactly sure what I want. I wonder if these things will ever change.

“I don't know what to do anymore.  I'm running wild asking for an answer, questioning everyone and everywhere.  Mainly myself.  I find that I can no longer unhesitatingly furnish the answers that once came so easily.  It all comes down to one question really.  What do I want?  But within that one question there are sub questions and secondary questions and associate questions.  If that makes sense.”

Ohhhhh I was such a confused little soul. I can’t say I have regrets about my life thus far, but I would do some things differently if I could go back. Which, when people say that I always think to myself, “okay, that’s what regret is, but duh, no one wants to say they have regrets about their LIFE because that sounds so sad and probably makes the person who says that feel like a failure.” BUT. If I did do things differently I wouldn’t have learned from them. And I have learned a lot a lot.

You live, you learn. It’s a very comforting thing to say after bad things happen. This is a very reflective post…I think it’s because I’ve been missing a lot of things lately, or realizing that I’m going to miss them soon. And sometimes I get so down and inside the memories and remembering the feelings I had that I get sad. But I tried to think about it like this: I have lived a life to be missed. There are so many things I have loved in my life that I should feel lucky and blessed to even have so many things to miss. And hopefully so many things to come.

:)

PS - The title of this post is this song I used to listen to allllll the time when I was in high school.

She had so much potential.

If you wanna rock, I’m ready to roll

Summmmmmer is on the way. I was going to write that it’s my favorite time of year…but I love so many times of the year. Christmas time and Flower time and Spring Break time and Vacation time and Gator time and Rainboot time and Sweaters are Comfortable to Wear (FL) time, and Beach time. I guess Summer is my favorite technical season. Or maybe my favorite season is the beginning of each season. Which is not a season at all. Just a novelty.

But ANYWAY, it’s warmer now which I appreciate SO much. When I go to the beach it’s like it’s really the beach. But the water is still super freezing. I plan on running into it sometime soon. Because I can’t not.

I auditioned for my first commercial today. I am fairly certain I didn’t get it (I can ALWAYS hear my mother’s voice in my head when I make a comment like that, encouraging me with a truism I’ve heard sooo very many times before). BUT the reason I think that is because I think I am too young for the part. It was for a jewelry commercial, and I was supposed to be the recipient of a proposal. Meanwhile, the day before, I worked on Hannah Montana…I think I looked a lot younger than most of the people I saw go in and out before me. But it’s okay because I like the idea of being too young for marriage. Speaking of marriage, I came across this ring today and I just loooved it.

I have been learning a lot lately, I’ve realized. I don’t know if I’ve become more observant or what, but I’ve been walking away from events in my life with knowledge that I am aware of. Sometimes I walk away from things and looking back I know I’ve learned something from it, but I’m usually not so aware of the lesson. Maaaaybe I am getting more grown up. Also I’ve been writing things down a lot (not here) and I think this is helping. And I’ve been feeling motivated lately. There is just so much I want to DO! I went for a long time without writing things out like I used to and I forgot about how clarifying it can be.

Sometimes I think the reason people don’t feel the need to write anymore is because we have so many other opportunities to express ourselves to others. Feeling sad? hungry? itchy? Tweet about it. Post a quote on your facebook. Write in your BLOG. Redefine who you are by updating your profile page. There’s an illusion that because it’s been released into the universe, someone will read, and perhaps even care about it. Oftentimes I get the distinct feeling that I’m reading a status that was meant for a particular person to see. Like the person writing it is letting whoever is making them sad or itchy or hungry know about it via some cryptic song lyric.

Something I’ve been noticing (um, sorry my transitions are a little…fast paced?) is how other blogs that I read have mainly pictures. Mine is mainly text. So I’m gonna include some pictures to make it more appealing to the eye. It’s going to be a photo collection called Welcome to My Life by Emily Jane Woodruff:

Beautiful place I live that I never ever get tired of

OMG. we have furniture…

And sooooon we will have a band. Roommates putting together the logistics. We are still relatively unsure of what my contribution to the band will be, other than Disney song knowledge/performance. C  UNIT! That’s our band name. We have some really good song titles, too. That is for another post, though.

When I first saw this thing I was like AHHHHH IT’S A WOLF!!!!!! I really thought it was. I was pretty much way more excited to see this guy than any famous person I’ve seen. I miss nature. Later I realized it is definitely a coyote, because wolves are enormous and scary and would not come that close to people. Also this picture was taken from my car, if you’re wondering. So not as cool as seeing a wolf; however I had not ever seen a coyote before so this was a new experience.

Annnd last but not least…

 

You should always end in a shadowy 80s pic.