Friday Five

Five Things I am Thankful for this Friday

1. I love it when I don't have to wait for the walk sign to light up. As in, I think I'm going to have to wait AND THEN right as my feet are about to bring the rest of me to a halt, the light changes in pace with my walk and my feet just rev right back up again.

2. My Mama. I love her. I miss her. Yesterday she told me she just got a really good feeling about me. I believe in really good feelings. Also really bad ones. But I'm glad this one was a good one. She is President of the Emily Fan Club.

3. Leftover Halloween Candy. I am only 1/2 thankful for this really. Right now I am happy to have it. But someone should probably take it away from me. Soon. Also it reminds me of being a kid and eating all the good candy first and then all the tootsie rolls are left at the end. Also I used to steal my brother's candy sometimes and replace it with my crappy candy. Confession.


4. The knowledge that tomorrow morning I don't have to be anyyyyyywhere! Sleep, Sleep, I love you best mid-morninggggg time.

5. Old friends. Thanks for reminding me of who I was and who I'm going to be. And for telling me I'm pretty.



k bye.

I like what I like

When it comes to things like food, I find it's better to stick with what you know. For example, from the time I could order my own food until about two years ago, I got chicken fingers at pretty much every restaurant I went to. I like it. Chicken fingers are pretty much the same everywhere. I know I won't order them and be disappointed. Sometimes the sauces that these establishments boast of are very disappointing, but that's really another story. Now I'm a vegetarian and I get a veggie (btw, I hate the word "veggie") burger everywhere I go. Also another story.

Same theory pretty much applies to shoes. I like what I like. Which is mainly sandals, because otherwise my feet feel claustrophobic. If I can't wiggle my toes around, I get a little crazy. I may not let on, but on the inside I'm like AHHHHHHHHH THIS IS MAKING ME FEEL SO TRAPPPPPPED. No one really knows this, because I just have a lot of self-control. So far. I don't particularly like heels, except to try on for a few minutes and strut around in (with a crown on, duh). I can also tolerate heels if I'm going to an event that is primarily sitting down. Otherwise, no thank you. I also never learned to dance (well, dance how I like to dance) wearing heels, so I think that's a pretty big restriction to put on yourself. Who knows when you need to dance? Or wiggle your toes?

But now that I live in a not Florida place, my footwear is changing. Not so much by choice...but when the weather changes, so do your shoes. I recently purchased my second pair of boots EVER (not including rainboots) and I really like them so far! I can wiggle in them. And they are comfortable. Also, California does what I like to call the leggings and anything combo, and boots happen to complement that rather well.

You likesies? I likesies. I get lots of compliments on them and 1.) They’re not real leather, which I am actually trying to avoid as  I don’t like the idea of wearing skin that belonged elsewhere once, and 2.) As a result, they were very cheap!

Cool. So now I have some bootskies, which is really fun and new for me. I feel like I’m gonna go prance off like a little english riding horse when I wear them. (Weird I feel like the horse, and not the actual person riding the horse, which I think is the style these boots are trying to imitate. Whatever. You can’t question impulse. At least they’re not made from horse skin.)

So ANYWAY, now that I am satisfied with my boots that don’t make me want to rip off my footwear, I focused on finding some flats I L-O-V-E. Because in my opinion, you have to L-O-V-E your shoes! They’re like an extension of your body. Love yourself, Love your shoes. But the thing is, I already have flats I love. I love them. I lovelove them. They are the most comfortable things I have ever worn. And they make me feel like a ballerina to the extent that I actually practice ballet in them. Or rather, what I think ballet is, which may or may not be close to the real thing. They are also filthy. Because I loved them so much. You know how when you’re a little kid, your mom won’t buy you white sneakers because you’ll get them dirty the first ten minutes of recess? And all kid shoes eventually end up filthy because apparently they spend all free time in dirt? And then you grow up a little, and your shoes don’t get so dirty anymore, so you buy white sneakers because now you run inside a gym where dirt is sought out and eliminated because it causes things like MRSA. We all know what I’m talking about. Except these ballet flats look like I spend a lot of time on playgrounds. But they were only like $15 so I really don’t mind buying new ones. And then I can wear my other ones on the playground for REAL, perhaps.

ONLY PROBLEM IS, THEY NO LONGER SELL THEM.

I.am.devastated. To the point that I actually wrote Target a letter, begging whatever customer service representative receives it to pleeeeeeeeeeease restock them. I really hope they listen. Funny thing is, I remember when I bought them I was like,

FIFTEEN DOLLARS? For these shoes I already love so much and I am just in the store? I WILL GLADLY PAY THAT. And then this little voice inside me said, Emily, maybe you should get another pair. Maybe….you should get….five other pairs.

But I ignored it.

Moral of the story: When you like what you like, you should definitely buy in bulk.

Oh, also, here is a picture of my beloved flats. THEY LOOK PRETTIER IN PERSON. (Well, mine don’t now. Because of the filth. But they did once. Also, I really like parentheses this post, eh?)

...Li...brary

I love the way books smell. Old books and new books. I am not sure how I feel about middle-aged books. Also not sure if a book can ever be middle aged. I think they just go from new to old. I was thinking this today in the library. Maybe if I never decide what I want to be I will be a librarian. A children's librarian. Who wears a funny hat during story time. And does all the voices. I think I'll probably bake cupcakes too. Oh, my alternate life as a children's librarian. The things I coulda been.

When I get a call about an audition it is SO REFRESHING. I literally feel like screaming out the window, "OH MY GOD, SOMEONE WANTS ME!! It's a BEAUTIFUL WORLD." It's amazing how quickly my mood can change when I get good news. Also works the opposite way. The lows are low, but oh, the highs are extraordinary

I feel really lame when I use the word extraordinary in earnest for some reason.

This post apparently has a theme as I feel the need to write about the library again. I was walking through it today and looking at all the new books, fiction and non, and then all the dvds, and the cds and the books on cd, and the children's books, and the newspapers in all these different languages and I felt so incredibly overwhelmed and fascinated all at once. Perhaps I was overwhelmed with fascination? Nope, they were two distinct feelings. But I know I can never know everything! I don't have time! Or patience! Also I forget some percentage of things I read...not sure exactly what it is, but it's surely significant. It made me wish future me could follow me around, maybe floating behind me saying things like, "Don't even bother with that one!" and "You won't regret it!" and "This one is MAGICAL!" But I just have to rely on book jackets...and reviews...and recommendations. I guess I will have to be okay with that.

Anyway, it reminded me of this quote in Anne of Green Gables, which is something I read that I will NEVER forget because I read them all about 20 times each. No exaggeration there. Here it is.

"Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we know all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?"
- Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

I was just thinking…

Sooooo it’s been a while since I updated…OOOPSIES! I will try not to let so much time pass again. I actually wrote a few and then never posted them. OOPSIES! again. I actually am not very sorry, only I like to look back on my blogging exploits years after. I had an “open diary” when I was like 14, but that website got hacked and everyone’s stuff was deleted, apparently? WHICH IS TOO BAD. I actually had a xanga, and a missingapiece as well…I’m trying to find them all so I can pick out some choice quotes to post here so my younger self can remind my present self of how wise I once was. But it’s difficult, because I’m having trouble remembering my usernames/passwords. Younger me probably didn’t think older me would forget! Because my password hints are always these weird little clues that I know at the time I must have thought duh! of course I’ll remember this inside joke I had with…myself. but I do not.

Okay so I went back to try and find them and it was a little impossible. I did, however, remember one. Also some of the others were deleted. I did find some interesting old emails, though. Anyway, reading over the old entries I realized I’ve lost a sense of hyper activeness that I once had. In comparison, I’m pretty calm now. OMG WTF MATE DID I GROW UP? It’s also a bunch of entries from when I was choosing colleges and thinking about leaving things behind and whatnot so I am certainly reflective in that depressing way that only a 17 year old can be.

“I haven't been aware of it, but slowly my life has been falling into my own hands, bit by bit.  I'm not altogether sure I'm comfortable.”

“It's so difficult to make and renew and keep connections as you age.  So far that's what I've learned.”

I still want to be a princess, I still love chocolate and cheese and sparkly pretty things, and I’m still not exactly sure what I want. I wonder if these things will ever change.

“I don't know what to do anymore.  I'm running wild asking for an answer, questioning everyone and everywhere.  Mainly myself.  I find that I can no longer unhesitatingly furnish the answers that once came so easily.  It all comes down to one question really.  What do I want?  But within that one question there are sub questions and secondary questions and associate questions.  If that makes sense.”

Ohhhhh I was such a confused little soul. I can’t say I have regrets about my life thus far, but I would do some things differently if I could go back. Which, when people say that I always think to myself, “okay, that’s what regret is, but duh, no one wants to say they have regrets about their LIFE because that sounds so sad and probably makes the person who says that feel like a failure.” BUT. If I did do things differently I wouldn’t have learned from them. And I have learned a lot a lot.

You live, you learn. It’s a very comforting thing to say after bad things happen. This is a very reflective post…I think it’s because I’ve been missing a lot of things lately, or realizing that I’m going to miss them soon. And sometimes I get so down and inside the memories and remembering the feelings I had that I get sad. But I tried to think about it like this: I have lived a life to be missed. There are so many things I have loved in my life that I should feel lucky and blessed to even have so many things to miss. And hopefully so many things to come.

:)

PS - The title of this post is this song I used to listen to allllll the time when I was in high school.

She had so much potential.

If you wanna rock, I’m ready to roll

Summmmmmer is on the way. I was going to write that it’s my favorite time of year…but I love so many times of the year. Christmas time and Flower time and Spring Break time and Vacation time and Gator time and Rainboot time and Sweaters are Comfortable to Wear (FL) time, and Beach time. I guess Summer is my favorite technical season. Or maybe my favorite season is the beginning of each season. Which is not a season at all. Just a novelty.

But ANYWAY, it’s warmer now which I appreciate SO much. When I go to the beach it’s like it’s really the beach. But the water is still super freezing. I plan on running into it sometime soon. Because I can’t not.

I auditioned for my first commercial today. I am fairly certain I didn’t get it (I can ALWAYS hear my mother’s voice in my head when I make a comment like that, encouraging me with a truism I’ve heard sooo very many times before). BUT the reason I think that is because I think I am too young for the part. It was for a jewelry commercial, and I was supposed to be the recipient of a proposal. Meanwhile, the day before, I worked on Hannah Montana…I think I looked a lot younger than most of the people I saw go in and out before me. But it’s okay because I like the idea of being too young for marriage. Speaking of marriage, I came across this ring today and I just loooved it.

I have been learning a lot lately, I’ve realized. I don’t know if I’ve become more observant or what, but I’ve been walking away from events in my life with knowledge that I am aware of. Sometimes I walk away from things and looking back I know I’ve learned something from it, but I’m usually not so aware of the lesson. Maaaaybe I am getting more grown up. Also I’ve been writing things down a lot (not here) and I think this is helping. And I’ve been feeling motivated lately. There is just so much I want to DO! I went for a long time without writing things out like I used to and I forgot about how clarifying it can be.

Sometimes I think the reason people don’t feel the need to write anymore is because we have so many other opportunities to express ourselves to others. Feeling sad? hungry? itchy? Tweet about it. Post a quote on your facebook. Write in your BLOG. Redefine who you are by updating your profile page. There’s an illusion that because it’s been released into the universe, someone will read, and perhaps even care about it. Oftentimes I get the distinct feeling that I’m reading a status that was meant for a particular person to see. Like the person writing it is letting whoever is making them sad or itchy or hungry know about it via some cryptic song lyric.

Something I’ve been noticing (um, sorry my transitions are a little…fast paced?) is how other blogs that I read have mainly pictures. Mine is mainly text. So I’m gonna include some pictures to make it more appealing to the eye. It’s going to be a photo collection called Welcome to My Life by Emily Jane Woodruff:

Beautiful place I live that I never ever get tired of

OMG. we have furniture…

And sooooon we will have a band. Roommates putting together the logistics. We are still relatively unsure of what my contribution to the band will be, other than Disney song knowledge/performance. C  UNIT! That’s our band name. We have some really good song titles, too. That is for another post, though.

When I first saw this thing I was like AHHHHH IT’S A WOLF!!!!!! I really thought it was. I was pretty much way more excited to see this guy than any famous person I’ve seen. I miss nature. Later I realized it is definitely a coyote, because wolves are enormous and scary and would not come that close to people. Also this picture was taken from my car, if you’re wondering. So not as cool as seeing a wolf; however I had not ever seen a coyote before so this was a new experience.

Annnd last but not least…

 

You should always end in a shadowy 80s pic.

It’s nice to have a biggest fan, even when it’s your mommy.

Hi hi hi. New blog post. So I came back here and I realized I have COMMENTS from people. And that one of them has a blog! I am so excited. Blogging is qualifiable as a hobby, people. Anyway, I went to her blog and found this little top five thing she did and it got me thinking about how life is not worth living without goals and something to aspire to and how sometimes I forget my goals or put them on the “back burner” (I don’t like using overused phrases, that one in particular I think, so I put it in quotations to make it appear as though I use it less often than I perhaps do). Anyway here it is, although most of the things I entered are based on COMPLETE fantasy so I am not sure how much it helped as far as the goal defining process goes.

Top 5 Things I Daydream About:

1. Buying plane tickets

2. My friends becoming famous people

3. Success…

4. Lately, surprising everyone in Tampa when I magically transport myself to the Taylor Swift concert tomorrow.  THEY WOULD BE SO SURPRISED. Tears. Tears everywhere.

5. Inventing something/writing a book

Top 5 Places I want to travel to: (HOW DO I BEGIN TO CHOOSE. okay. I’ll do it. BUT I don’t promise to be happy about it.)

1. Paris. parisparisparisparis.

2. Amsterdam

3. Australia

4. Greece

5.  Morocco/Egypt/Jerusalem

…I think I cheated.

Top 5 Places I want to move to:

I am not sure about this one. I like it here. Also I just want to be with my friends. It’s a sad thing to realize all the people I love will never, ever be in the same place again. Please someone develop teleportation, asap.

Top 5 Careers I would love to have:

1. Country Music Star

2. Princess of a small country. maaaaybe mid sized.

3. Actress

4. Samantha Brown’s job. but BETTER. because I would be better.

5. Travel Blogger

 

Top 5 Things I wish I could afford: (SO MANY THINGS)

1. A condo with a balcony by the beach. and I want a waterfall in there somewhere. I would settle for a fountain.

2. To travel wherever I want for the next year

3. A personal make up artist/shopper/cook. hopefully I could find one person to do all three so I don't have to count them as three separate things.

4. a boat.

5. Enough funding to start my own...something. School? Like Oprah. Or beneficial to humanity organization. Okay obviously I need to think about this last one more. I would not give me money for it at this point.

Top 5 Things I miss from College (besides friends):

1. My…whole…life…?

2. Room 212

3. Anastasia’s classes, talking about Disney movies from a scholastic perspective, theatre performances…SCHOOL.

4. Ladies Night

5. Knowing 50% of the people in any given bar. Okay. Maybe not 50. But A LOT.

Um. And so. much. more. But I have to stop listing things before I get sad. saaaaad.

okay. that’s it. feel free to respond with your own answers!

Today my mommy called me and left a voicemail singing the Black Eyed Peas song, “Tonight’s gonna be a good night.” She did alter it a little, maybe even branched off into her own version, but it was still recognizable. She told me she had the feeling something good is about to happen to me. I hoooooope so.

"What are you thinking about?" -"The blog post I'll write about this."

So I’m not sure if starting a blog was the best idea ever. Lately I have been using it as a threat which is just sort of weird, I’ve realized. Picture me yelling out my window, “I’M WRITING A BLOG ABOUT THIS! I’ll have you know!” They're all claims of passion though, because by the time I’m ready to blog I’m not as angry any more. But it has gotten me thinking a lot about karma. I’ve come to a conclusion:I don’t really believe in it. I think that if you do terrible things, obviously you will have less than desirable consequences. And likewise for good deeds. So if that is karma I believe in it BUT I don’t think it’s an action-by-action deal. Sometimes people do mean things that affect me and I’ll think to myself, Ooooh just you wait! Karma will get you! (Or lately, just you wait, I’ll write about this in my BLOG.) But what if the bad things that happen to me are not just random things that cause bad karma for others, but rather MY bad karma coming back to me? Maybe I should stop thinking about Karma so much. "No good deed goes unpunished," to quote Wicked. Which I think kind of ties in with the idea that if you're just doing good things for good Karma, it doesn't really count.

Isn’t it fun when you bond with a complete stranger? It happens a lot here, mainly because there are so many crazy people around. For example, right now I’m sitting in Panera next to a lady who is laughing HYSTERICALLY. Nonstop. And it sounds like she’s been smoking for the past 30 years and that she is perhaps coming down with bronchitis. She’s listening to a radio program, I believe. And finally I sort of looked around, giving one of those, ummm is anyone else witnessing this? looks. Which often go unnoticed here but this time this old man kind of gave me this helpless look and shook his head and smiled. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in the land of normalcy. Yep, that’s right folks, I’m normal here. Okay and now she’s speaking in a foreign language. This explains a lot.

Okayyy that is all I have to talk about for now. Slash I left my phone in my car and I need to check something slash parking places for long period of time makes me nervous and I'm at Panera.

Work In Progress - Life Theme?

Sometimes it's difficult for me to decide what to blog about. There are so many things bouncing around inside my head that I'd like to further dissect that it's hard for me to focus on just one. And I know that if I don't focus on one things will get a little crazy. Which I know this whole thought seems a little irrelevant seeing as I have but two other blog posts, but just know that is the extent to which choosing a specific subject plagues me. Often I find I just give up, and write nothing. Also we don't have internet yet so that is a contributer. Actually we have internet everywhere except my room.

I think my room would be a good thing to blog about. I am pretty excited about it right now. Today one of my roommates came back home with a big can of yellow paint and announced she was painting her room. I found this highly motivating for some reason. This is the part where I realized I wanted to live inside of a sea shell. Unfortunately Home Depot and the paints they carry do not share my vision because there is no paint called inside of a seashell. Some got pretty close - pink reef, ballet slippers, pink blush, Hawaiian shell. Also - side not - paint has amazing names. As a general rule. I can't imagine what I would do if I had a whole house to choose things for. It has taken me so very long to decide on things just for this little space I have. I mean the seashell part came right away but I did spend about 45 minutes walking up and down the paint aisles. Because paint looks very different in various lighting. It also changes upon juxtaposition amongst other paint colors. Finally I decided upon one called Southern Beauty. Here is a little link showing what it looks like, although that is not what it actually looks like here

So I have to paint my room. And I have a white quilt. Also I have a bookcase but I need to paint that too, I've decided. Also I'm still not sure what my general theme is, or if I can go with the seashell deal or if it can just be Things Emily Likes. Also, all the furniture I like has taglines like, "Great for your little princess!" and the reviews all start off with, "I bought this for my 5 year old"...so I'm not sure what to make of that. But the way I see it this is just my room and I will do what I want because I don't have to share it with anyone. And I think I have realized that I desperately want a vanity (very movie star of me, no?) but the one I want at target is currently unavailable. Here it is.

At first I was judging even myself because I mean really, what 22 year old needs a little white vanity with a little poofy stool when she already has closet doors that are mirrors that take up an entire wall of her room? What kind of grown up am I? But But then I thought about how 22 is not really too old for a vanity, after all, and it is sort of like a desk anyway, but shorter in length. Also I am thinking about how I will one day have a big fancy bathroom (I think when I am a real grown up I want my bathroom to be as big as my room) and then maybe I can just put it in there. It is an investment. So I shall have it. Except Target no longer has it in stock BUT I have instructed their website to notify me when it's available.

Also one day I will go back and make those links rather than web addresses. Not tonight. And one day I will post pictures of my new room. and maybe my home. These things are works in progress. Maybe that should be the theme of my room.

Updates, Updates

Note: I wrote these when I first began my journey to California, but the question of a blog name kept me from making them available to the public. I reveal them now.


1/4/10


So. I have vowed to make a record of some sort of my ventures in my real life. And I am really really tired right now but I am MAKING myself do it. Today was an interesting day, because it makes me feel like things are really happening. I left Tallahassee this morning around 8:15 AM and continued driving til about 6:50. We drove through Louisiana and Texas. It wasn’t too exciting. Also I have done it before. The only thing I really noticed was the sense of industry. We passed a lot of plants that were just chugging smoke evvvvvvveeeeerywhere. It made me appreciate Florida’s environmental laws. And made me glad I am going to California where most people care about things like that. Then I had my first adventure video chatting with Val. I am not too familiar with it and it took me about ten minutes to set up the audio part but as we all know I am a very expressive person so it wasn’t that hard to convey my thoughts without noise…though a little frustrating. And then we went to Outback, and I only mention this because I ordered what Maggie calls Crack Salad. IT IS SO GOOD. It is listed as a side salad and I don’t know why they don’t call it something more appetizing or feature it. It’s called like pecan crust salad. No picture. It should be called DELICIOSOSOSOSO GOOD. I could just eat it…forever. And our waiter was so super nice. Texas seems like a nice sort of place. But Lawd, is it COLD! I think it may be cold everywhere right now. Question – why do people live in the cold? Is it because they think they have to? I don’t get it. Like seriously it makes me so uncomfortable. Interferes with my happiness. Hmmmm I am not sure if I will make this a very public blog that I post on facebook or if it will be more private…or if it will be to update my friends and fam or just my friends. I am sort of an expert blogger, though I’ve been out of the business for a while. I blogged before the word “blog” had even been coined. Back then it was just online diary. So, should I tell my real thoughts and potentially make strangers uncomfortable reading about me or should I just keep it to updates? Questions. To sleep on. Also I am not even posting this in a blog yet because I have to think of a blog name. More questions.

1/5/10 Deming, NM
I am a tiiiired tired little girl. It is a great big world, after all. Today we drove through alllll of texas. Liiiike 14 hours. It is such a large place. Did no one else want it? We passed some towns on the side of the road that looked about as big as my high school. What are their lives like, I wonder? I wonder wonder. Also I was kind of wanting to stand next to the humongous rock formations. I was thinking it would be cool if someone had set up a camera at the beginning of time that recorded up til now so I could see how they formed and changed. Like they do on discovery channel when a flower is blooming or a frog is giving birth. And by giving birth I mean squirting out of an egg. Or maybe squirting out an egg. ANYWAY. I am at the Hampton Inn which sort of feels like home now because that is the only hotel we stay at and they're all decorated exactly the same. Brenda, the greeting lady, is very very nice. She is from Michigan. When I called her for directions I knewww she could not be from around here. I wonder what the people sound like around here. I researched Santa Monica on the way here and I think I will like it. I think I might be getting sick. For this I blame my little brother. He is a very jelly little brother donut right now that I am in California and he is not. Well I’m not there yet but. Okay I think that’s all I have to say right now. There were just lots of rocks. Which was really neat at first. Then they were just rocks.

1/10/10
Sometimes the question, “How does life work?” runs through my mind. By sometimes I mean it's something I ponder nonstop. But I am learning. You would think there would be something more to prepare people for real life, but I guess the sink or swim tactic sort of works for most people.
I met with a casting director today. She was very informative and offered me some valuable information and insight. She also told me I look like I’m fifteen years old, which I’m pretty happy about because it means my dream of becoming a child star can still come true. I started doubting my fifteen year old looks though…I mean fifteen year olds look like babies. Do I look like a baby? Not sure. I don’t really have a clear picture of what I look like in my mind, though. It’s a surprise every time I look in the mirror. But thennn, an exchange occurred that solidified my baby face status. I was in the grocery store, and they had free samples. Most grocery stores have laws regarding giving these samples out to children – usually a parent has to be present if they child is under a certain age. While I was reaching for the sample, the employee giving them out stopped me and asked if I was over 14. FOURTEEN. So yeah. High school here I come.

Most people here are relatively friendly and helpful. It seems everyone at one point was in your position and they vividly remember what it was like – I’ve seen lots of networking go on.