So I have been a fan of the Bachelor/Bachelorette tv show since Jillian's season in 2009. I was intrigued by a pair of red cowboy boots she wore with a black fringe dress. Something about it just spoke to me, and that's when I started googling her wardrobe from the show. And also watching every episode, ever, including the Bachelor Pad spinoff.
Over the years, as the format of the show becomes increasingly predictable to a seasoned viewer, I found myself fast forwarding to the end, when the elimination begins. This is the good stuff. This season, the "winner" wore a one-shoulder gold gown, and the "loser" wore a silver racer back dress. I've seen the Olympics, so I knew how it was going to go down. I didn't particularly appreciate either of their choices, but it got me thinking about what I would wear if I ever go on the Bachelor and make it to the final two. Which I would, because at this point I could write a handbook on this show. And then I would do the crazy switchup where the contestant reveals she has a boyfriend. Bam! Anyway, here are my choices, for the Bachelor, my next (and first) black tie wedding, or in the instance I get famous and get asked to Prom again. Or just for sitting around. Or heading to Trader Joe's. Actually, I went to Whole Foods recently sort of dressed up and it was really awkward. So I don't recommend that. Even if you're like, Hellooooo I am clearly just buying a bottle of cool champagne to share before I go out somewhere really cool, all you sad people who are not doing that!
Anyway, here are my choices, courtesy of
Rent the Runway.
I die. Obviously, I am a winner. With the eye of a crow.
Because I am a fairytale princess and I should be allowed to reflect that with all my netting and flounce. Also, I would have a more princessy look on my face. Because I would rule with a magnanimous fist. Except don't borrow my dress.
This one is aptly named meteor shower. I would expect this song
Meteor to play every time I enter a room. Which is by a band I used to listen to a lot in college. Which I hope wouldn't trick my subconscious into thinking I should behave as a college student. That wouldn't be becoming of a lady in such a dress.
And lastly, this number. So floaty and airy and delicate, like a queen of the snowflakes and peppermints. And, let me tell you, I am a fan of the figure skating style mesh. For sure. For always.